The Rules of Zombieland

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Creating A Semi-Living Will

In the Terrorverse, every responsible adult has two wills: one to be carried out in the event of their death, and one to be carried out in the event of their semi-death. Its crucial that you leave your family specific instructions on what to do if you become a zombie, if only to alleviate some of the guilt they might feel about chopping off your head.

Spelling out your wishes in black and white also eliminates the possibility of a painful, protracted legal battle, and ensures that-- zombie or not--you'll be allowed to die with some dignity. A semi-living will might be something as simple as this;

Last Semi-Living Will and Testament


I,__________________, being of sound, blood-enriched mind and living body, do hereby wish the following three steps to be executed with all due expedience and in the order specified, in the event of my transformation (whether accidental or otherwise) into a zombie:

1. My head shall be forcibly removed from my body.
2. No less than five (5) bullets shall be fired point-blank from a high-powered rifle into my brain.
3. My head and body shall be burned until nothing but ash remains.


I leave these instructions of my own free will on this day,_________________, 20___.


Signed,

___________________________



Seth Grahame-Smith
How To Survive A Horror Movie

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