If you're lucky enough to reach the burial site in one piece, don't go any further until you've reviewed these rules:
Never bury someone alive. When's the last time you watched a movie where someone was successfully buried alive? They always escape, and they always come looking for you.
Never bury or exhume the bad guy. If your goal is to dig up the bad guy and make sure he's dead, guess what? He's not. If your goal is to bury the bad guy because you're sure he's finally dead, guess what?
Never bury your child. Nothing's more painful than losing a child, except losing a child, having that child turn into a zombie, and having to kill that zombie child with your bare hands.
Always place a lightning rod next to the gravesite before you dig. Otherwise, the thunderstorm that kicks up the minute you start digging will result in a lightning strike that brings the bad guy back to life.
Don't stand in the hole when you open the coffin lid. As soon as you pry the lid off, the creature's going to spring up like a jack-in-the-box and eat your face.
By Seth Grahame-Smith
Foreword by Wes Craven
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