Local Foreskin police were tagged,'racist and quick-on-the-gun, after a hastily formed riot squad descended upon a gathering of Barack Obama supporters.
Dubbed a protest in support of 'Citizens Against Common Sense,' supporters gathered in Penalty Park where a bronze statue of Obama on a white horse was about to be unveiled to the awaiting crowd. Crowd estimates were put at over 10,000 by park rangers.
The Foreskin police force, on alert for a suspected Mexican Flu Zombie invasion, mistook the glazed eyes and blank expressions on the supporters as 'zombie-like,' says Foreskin Gazzette reporter Mark Henry. According to Henry,
"Captain Henry Scwantz gave the order for his officers to 'shoot first and ask questions later.' After two volleys of gunfire and pepper gas, the mayor who was officiating at the event, Donald Flith(D), yelled for a cease fire. The was photographed by the Gazzette washing pepper spray from his eyes. Luckily for the supporters, the Foreskin police are reputed to be terrible shots and the only damage was to the statue which sustained three bullets to the buttocks, a street lamp globe that was shattered, and a little old lady's dog named Butch.
Butch was taken to Shadyside Cemetary where he was interned with full Democratic Party honors. Butch's master Edna Rosetta, claims she will sue.
Written by Bargis Tryhol
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